Archives for posts with tag: dance

Right now, I believe I am in love. Some strong, real kind of love.


That being said, I am terrified.

What if this is it? What if? What if it isn’t?


And what if it is, but later down the road, I meet that straight dancer guy?


Does it matter?


I have no idea.


It has been quite a while.
A lot has happened, as you could’ve guessed. Much happens in the day-to-day, every-day life of a living, breathing human being.

I have sucessfully auditioned for my number one college- the University of Kansas in Lawrence, Kansas. I also auditioned for UNCG this past weekend, and I surprised myself with how much I liked the school and campus (it was my mother’s idea, so I went into it a little pessimistic). The students were fun to be around and the program was absolutely magnetic. Plus it’s cheaper than KU.
But that’s another argument Entirely.

In addition to college things, I also bought a new phone. A smart phone. An Android, to be precise. And I am in material love. I can post all the time now!!! 😀

The other pieces of my life are slightly more complicated.

I met a boy last April. Well, a man.
Anyways, we fell very quickly in a blind love. And for one short summer, we were as much the other’s as the rain to the sky. Then life got in the way and now he’s a Navy man. Out on the ocean for the next for years.

Lucky me.
(Did I mention he has the body of the David and eyes like the forest?)


I have two more auditions coming up for schools that do not yet have my applcations. Because I have not finished them yet. I should be doing them right now actually, yet here I am, blogging instead.

Anyways, they are both very prestigious, very expensive academy-type places with very qualified professors and very driven, determined, talented students. And I am attempting to join them.
And I haven’t even sent in my essays yet. Christ.

Also happening in my life now is a little, inconvenient gem by the name of High School. It’s a magical place filled with busy work and immaturity and mossyoak and bad teachers and high expectations and low determination and the whole place reeks of apathy. Eghk. Needless to say… I am ready to leave.

A part of the experience is enjoyable though. My friends, my boyfriend, and the music.
My friends keep me sane. They let me whine to a certain extent, but remind me how to be a tolerable human being. My boyfriend is still that teddybear of a man, doting but not overcumbersome. Sweet but not suffocatingly so. Independant, but shares the human experience. And seeing as I’ve known him since middle school, I am learning to trust him without much hesitance.
Now the only hitch with those two things is that they may get left behind as I leave, grow, and live. The music will never go, but… What about the rest? The habits, the familiar scenes? The shelter of home and family?…
I don’t know will happen when I leave this place, this time, and I suppose that scares me the most.
But what is to come…… It almost over shadows the fear.
The wonder at the future. The possibilities.
The endless, endless possibilities.

I’ve never explicitly expressed to you, my lovely readers, but I have a close, fiery connection to music and dance. It’s difficult to explain….but bear with me as I attempt to anyways.

It’s like being able to speak without the limitation of words. Unbridled expression, you might call it. But once you feel it, everything else becomes substandard. Regular conversions no longer sate your thirst for connection. Nothing seems real unless you’re moving without social statutes. And when you do… Nothing compares.
It’s like giving your soul a chance to be heard. Like the things you could never put into words to explain to someone are suddenly born into the world, like a once cloudy sky opened to reveal the sun and the stars and the planets and the galaxy all at once! And in this world you create for your soul… There is comfort, peace, and an unimaginable current of tranquility. The quiet thrum of life. And an undeniable warmth.
That is dance. The one thing I can always carry with me.

In the end, that’s what drives me. And that’s what it’s all about for me… It drives my every step, fills my dreams, and every waking hour, and will decide my future.

These possibilities keep my head up. Because even though high school is a drag and even though I have to leave my friends, family, home, love, and habits behind and even though there’s no way to tell for sure what’s going to happen (with anything, really), I know I’ll be dancing wherever I end up. And that’ll just be the beginning of a long beautiful journey.

May the odds be ever in your favor,