Archives For author

My favorite thing, after food, dancing, singing, and books, is the internet.

I fucking love the internet.


SO when there is some sort of something keeping me away from not only my favorite things on my favorite thing, I tend to get very Very upset and irrational with everything (not just the internet blockade).


Thus, please disregard the blue streak flowing out of my dorm room.


Fuck you, shitty dorm wireless. I want to break up.


A lot of people at home and here at college ask me “Wow, a long distance relationship- why would you try to make that work?? Isn’t it too hard??” 

To you I say… If you found a diamond in the woods, would you leave it there, simply because you were leaving the woods? No, you’d take that shit with you and show it off. Look what I found. nanananabooboo.


If anything, putting the distance into our relationship has made us worlds stronger. It highlighted the things we have trouble with and exemplified what we’re already doing right. I think in the long run it’s probably the best thing that could’ve happened to us. And I’m not being falsely optimistic here, I truly believe that.

I guess it’s hard for a lot of people to believe because they’ve never loved someone this much. The people that have, however, always afford me a gentle smile and a warm hug- they know how hard it is. But the beauty is it is so worth it.

All the people I’ve met, the plentiful compliments (and comments), all the people that hit on me (not being narcissistic here, it’s a fact), no one has yet distracted me. A fact I am prettyy darn proud of. For before this year, I had no faith in myself Whatsoever. Didn’t even trust myself in the same room as an attractive guy. But, oh, look at me now!!! 


I didn’t mean this post to run so long, but there it is. I am hurting, but I am much happier than sad. Dancing is my life, it has opened all these introspective doors I keep posting about.

It is truly amazing.



They intertwine so closely, it becomes apparent how impossible it is to have one without the other. The beauty of life is to give it meaning and- for me at least- to share that beauty with as many people as you can.

Love is putting someone else before yourself, a divine sharing, if you will, of troubles, joys, and life itself.

I don’t where I’m going with this or what it means, but I feel it is pivotal, revolutionary to my cause.


Well, it’s day two of college and I can honestly say that I have never felt better. I love every class, instructor, assignment. I have made loads of friends already, my roommate is fantastic (and not pycho, which is appreciated), and my professors speak my language.
I decided to stay with him. Or more, I couldn’t leave. Could not. And I am beyond thrilled. I love him. Deeper and more passionately than (until very recently) I was aware. And it is Sooo good. I even found an amazing student ministry AND church that teaches exactly what I believe in. With great people, to boot 🙂


I am So happy. Ahhhhh 🙂

It just feels like letting out that breath that I didn’t even know I was holding. Everything really Did work itself out, just like everyone said!!!

Ahhhhhhhh!! :):)

I am in love with life, dance, music, people, North Carolina, UNCG, my new friends and family, and even more so, my existing friends and family

I am really tired and sore, so I’m going to sleep now. But seeing as one assignment in my contemporary class is to post in the dance blog every week…. I see myself putting a lot more on Here too 🙂

Merry meet, and happy travels. God bless.

Good night

Hey there Delilah, what’s it like in NYC? You’re 1000 miles away, but girl tonight you look so pretty..yes you do. Times square can’t shine as bright as you. I Swear it’s true. Hey there Delilah, you be good and don’t you miss me. Two more years and you’ll be done with school and I’ll be making history like I do. You know, it’s all because of you. We can do whatever we want to. Hey there Delilah, here’s to you. This one’s for you. Hey there Delilah, don’t you worry about the distance. I’m right here if you get lonely- give this song another listen. Close your eyes… Listen to my voice, it’s my disguise… I’m by your side. Hey there Delilah, I know times are getting, but just believe me girl someday I’ll pay the bills with this guitar- we’ll have it good. We’ll have the life we knew we would. Hey there Delilah, I’ve got so much left to say, if every simple song I wrote to you would take your breath away, I’d write it all… Even more in love with me you’ll fall. We’d have it all.

Our lives are defined by the choices we make- and mostly by moments of impact. Moments that alter reality, thinking, even who you are. In those moments… You make choices. And the choices define the moments. Round and round, they make each other, and make you.

You will never be able to predict what your future holds for you. You can only live in every moment you are granted. Granted by whatever Greater Being you believe in. And in each of these moments can hold opportunity. Impact.

Take a circumstance. You have selflessly lived and loved for someone for months. An opportunity arises for one part of this whole. And a choice must be made.

There are many kinds of love. And many ways and forms and stages of loving. At many points it changes, morphes, forms, lives, and dies. Thrives or withers away. And that depends solely on who you are. And who your love is. And how your choices are changing you.

Now the question I’ve been stuck on is this: if who we are is defined by the choices we make, what defines those choices? To what extent do we control our lives and minds and heart? If our choices define who we are… Do we then control our minds and even fate? If we control our choices, do we change who we are as we please? To what extent? And do we even have the ability? Can we really change ourselves? Or are we fighting an undeniable instinct?

I am stuck.

I have been presented with a choice: to leave that which I love and cherish with the hope of an even brighter and warmer tomorrow? Or do I continue down my path, clutching to that which I am used to, regardless of pain or consequence?

In one of favorite video games, the narrator interjects every time your character is about to die. The screen goes foggy and he says “No, no, that’s not how it happened. Let me begin again.”

How great would it be if, in life, after time and choices have proved you wrong or naive, you could say “No, no. Let me begin again.”

I skipped dance tonight for the first time on the gtpunds of feeling like total caca. I never miss. And my dad picked me up and informed me that he and my mom spent the entire evening looking over finances and that there is no possible way they can scrape together the money to send to me to UNCG. They may not even have the money to get through college in state. With all of my scholarships. (Btw I got into UNCG and up until this evening had my heart set on going there instead of Kansas).

So I feel totally lost. And to tie in the “Let me begin again,” there are probably Hundreds of things I would’ve not done or not asked for had I known it would come down to this in thd end.

Hindsight’s 20/20 though, and there’s nothing I can do but cry and pray and hope.

Send some luck my way,
Ebony Feather

I would much rather cry to happy music than sad. Because I can always cheer up after I’m done crying with happy music, where sad music just makes me wanna die.

I got a lot going on right now that I super don’t feel like typing out right this second, but I promise I’ll fill you in later.


High school is really dumb! Oh my Goodness!
Already today I have see various and multiple forms of pettiness and immaturity. There is no hope here.

Have you ever thought about how insignificant your problems are? While you are hurting for the money to buy a new phone or hairdryer, there is someone out there in the world struggling to keep their family from starvation.

It’s a heavy word that I don’t think a lot of people comprehend. Starving means your body can no longer function from lack of nutrients, like those in food. It means being so hungry you die.

Now think of the times you’ve said jokingly “I’m starving!”

It feels different now, doesn’t it?

In the grand scheme of life, there are very Very few things that you actually need. Clothes. Food. Water. Shelter.

Yeah, Jimmy Choo’s are great, beautiful shoes. But if you were fighting for survival, you would be thinking about whether you would get to eat today or not. Not about how much your shoes cost or how great they look.
It’s great to have a big house, nice and comfortable. But what if you had to dig through landfills to find sheets of plastic big enough to make a roof out of because the rain at night is cold enough to make you sick?
Or what about those days when it’s 30 degrees out and you can’t find your Uggs? What if it was 30 degrees out and you had no shoes, no coat, and no blanket?

The word Need is totally subjective. Relative. And I know that most people I know have never been in a situation like these -where shelter and food are scarce- including me. But it is important to understand how lucky, how privileged we are to not truly want for anything.

The moral of this story: the complaints you have are insignificant. And to realize why, you must become a connected member of the human race. An understanding, present individual that is aware of their role on the planet.

My newest revelation
E. Feather

Today I got accepted to the other university I auditioned for! UNCG. But to refer to the negative air of this post, I called financial aid at Kansas and discovered that with the current funds, I cannot feasibly go there. It’s just too much for me and my family. And I feel as though I have been crushed.
How many people are lucky enough to get into their number one?

I don’t even know what to do or say. Wish me luck.