Archives for the month of: January, 2013

So smoking cigarettes is really bad for you. Gives you cancer, and is widely believed to cause bad breath, yellow teeth, and smellyness. So it’s a damn good thing that 90% of the male population thinks it’s “a shame to see a beautiful girl smoking.” Maybe now I’ll finally get left the fuck alone.

Advertisements

What you meed to know about your Gemini wife:

If you’re heading into marriage with a Gemini woman with visions of cozy evenings by a fire, home-cooked meals, and lovely family gatherings filled with love and mirth, then you won’t be disappointed. If you instead harbor hopes of travelling the world with her, staying in hostels, backpacking across continents, and immersing yourself into adventure, you still won’t be disappointed. Or if your dream is really to have a passionate, electric marriage, one in which you both have successful, busy careers and fast-paced lives, but still find time for steamy encounters and lavish five-star dinners, then once again you won’t be disappointed. This is a Gemini woman you married. She can do it all, and can do it wearing high-heeled shoes and designer clothes.

She’s a wonder woman, with a mind that will never slacken and a personality that is really a revolving door. She can sit with your parents in the afternoon and look at your family pictures for hours, having a great time all the way through it, and still dine with your best friend and his wife in the evening, being as charming as ever, before energetically hitting a few clubs at night and grinding you like cheddar cheese. If you want a Gemini woman for a wife though, you better have enough energy for her, because she lives a fast life. She’ll be very chatty, no matter which personality she’s wearing, and is almost always pleasant and cordial.

She might carry a reputation for being two-faced (a name that most Geminians unfortunately inherit), but she’ll never be two-faced to you. She’ll go through the inventory of her many faces and her
many personalities long before you marry, so that you know what you’re getting yourself into. And if you still decide to go through with the wedding (and why wouldn’t you?) then remember that when you say “I do” at the altar, you’re marrying half a dozen women at once (I had a feeling you wouldn’t complain about that). Each of those women will be compatible with you, or else this Gemini woman wouldn’t have married you.

As the marriage goes on however, she might add on a couple of new personalities, or lose track of some old ones. She’ll perpetually keep changing, but will expect you to stay the same. Because she lives a whirlwind life within her own head, she needs her partner to be stable and composed. That doesn’t mean you become a killjoy either. Trust her implicitly, because she expects that, and be there for her when she needs you, but give her as much free reign as you can.

Being an air-sign, she doesn’t like to be boxed in or tied down. She likes to go where the wind takes her, and expects you to trust that she will come home to you after a day of exploring. She won’t be very punctual, as most Gemini people aren’t, but she’s certainly dependable. She will be a wonderfully compassionate and emotional partner, but might be a little impatient if you take too long to get over hurdles. She’ll be a great mother, though is liable to spoil the kids a little, so you may have to play the “bad cop” role. She’s likely to be a messy person, but has an amazing knack for remembering where everything is. She makes one hell of a friend, and that’s something that you are guaranteed of when you marry a Gemini girl, is that she will be your best friend, and will take an active, genuine interest in everything you’re interested in. She’s got a wonderful sense of humor and is very easy and fun to be around. In short, she’s one hell of a catch. But the problem is catching her. Even if you’ve been married forty years, you’ll know deep down that you still haven’t caught her. And you probably never will. After all, it’s not easy catching a fresh, energetic breeze, and that’s what the Gemini wife will be.