So in lieu of my personal changes, I’m going to broach the highly controversial topic of: Church.

I attended church Sunday morning for the first time in probably two months because the church my mother goes to is more like a run down nursing home than a place of worship. I went to a local evangelical methodist church (oh no I’m into the nitty gritty) with a super relate-able, down-to-earth Reverend. And not only did I attend this church the morning after new years eve, I also attended after making love with my boyfriend for the first time. (Oh, and I went with him and his family to the service.)

Not expecting much we took our places and settled in for the sermon. Not only did the message fit in harmoniously with recent events, it has incited the changes in myself that I have been looking to make.

Now, for all you non religious folk, I’m sorry if you think I’m wasting my time and blahdeblahdeblahh. Think of it as Less about the God/Jesus/Christianity aspect and more about the meditation and introspection. We relate ourselves so a person we hold high in esteem that accomplished many good things for a lot of people in his time. This one person just happens to have lived a couple thousand years ago. But anyways, in that comparison, you aren’t tearing yourself down, you aren’t resigning to going to Hell, you simply identify the Characteristics within yourself that You are uncomfortable with or that You wish to change. There is no “have to” in church, only what You think that You “have to” do. It’s allllll relative. 

Now, the changes I have been looking to make are quite…obscure. Even I am unsure of their exact nature. But what I do know is this: The goals proposed to me in one hour and a half service have brought me farther than any introspection I did on my own. 

I see this as a good thing. Because I don’t know about you guys buuuuttttt…if someone asked me to build them a bookshelf, I would have no clue how. And it’s a lot easier to build a bookshelf with a master contractor helping you every step of the way than it is to try and figure it out on your lonesome. 

So I see attending church as a sort of weekly (or daily) session of guided introspection. And the more often and more (lol) Faithfully you do it, the more precise you can get. Going once a month doesn’t really help a lot because Hey, a lot of shit goes on in just 30 days. If you go every week, or even every Day, you can look at closer at the things you do and say, how you handle different situations, and who you are, or who you’d like to become.

For me, this is exactly what I’ve been looking/searching/waiting for. It might not be for everyone else out there, but hey. This is My blog. And I’ll probably end up talking a lot more about introspection from here on out.

Wish me luck ❤